Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Adventure Begins

So, it's April 20th, 2013.  This means a few things:

1. I'm starting a blog.  Your probably thinking, "How 21st Century!"  Or you're wondering if my interest in this blog will last as long as my interest in starting up a gourmet pickles company.  (It'll happen someday, just not right now.)  Now that the Atomic Wife is pregnant, I thought I'd start a blog to track our adventure through pregnancy, and our ever-growing knowledge about baby-related things we currently know nothing about (i.e. everything).

2. The baby is due in 184 days.  Speaking of not knowing anything: I have 184 days to learn how to change a diaper, and 184 days to learn how to actually hold a baby.  That's right, I'm a grown man, and don't know how to hold a baby.  People always ask me if I want to hold their baby.  Then right before they hand the baby over to you, everyone in the room starts shouting "SUPPORT THE HEAD!" (like I know how to support the head).  That's about all I know about holding a baby.  You need to support the head.

3. Last night, I had to Google "How do you put an infant in the grocery store cart?"  I still don't know.  The grocery cart doesn't have anything to support the head.

4. Is it wrong that I want to wear my GoPro helmet cam in the delivery room?

5. I looked online at strollers.  I found one with a speedometer and daytime running lights.  You think I'm kidding?  At least it has cup holders.  Still don't know if it has something built-in to support the head.


Join me on my journey.  Or else.

-Atomic Dad

1 comment:

  1. Dear AD,
    That whole "supporting the head" thing is optional. You are quite welcomed to raise your baby with a more flexible neck, which may come in useful in L.A. traffic. That way, he or she could provide complete incident reports from the back seat while you zoom right through the blockages. Saves time!

    You just might be a GREAT dad, given the amount of research you have done so far.

    The GoPro helmet would be a must. That way you could save your hands for the moment when AM shoots that kid out toward you. You might want to wear an apron tho, just sayin'.

    Until next post, Auntie Nesey