Saturday, May 25, 2013

Atomic Items

Here are some Atomic items for you to enjoy:

Atomic Dad

Atomic Pizza


Atomic Ukulele



Atomic Baby



Thursday, May 23, 2013

Parents and Texting

Texting.  Love it or hate it, texting can allow us to effectively communicate with one another without having to actually burn calories by speaking.  Certain conversations don't come across well in a text.  Example: "You say tomato, I say tomato.  You say potato, I say potato."  Doesn't make much sense as a text.  Additionally, I've never met anyone who calls it a toe-mah-toe or poe-tah-toe.

Still, texting can be an effective means of communication... provided that you text responsibly, and verify who you're sending the text to before hitting the "SEND" button.  Being a responsible parent means texting responsibly, unlike these parents:

Prego! That's a-spicy meat-a-ball!


LMAO.  ROTFL.  PLMK.  LMNOP-QRS-TUV-W-X-Y-and-Z.


That's one hungry mama.  She's hungry for Love, and it's feedin' time.


They didn't forget you.  They knew what they were doing.  Also, that's a lovely quote... said no one ever.

Moms and Dads out there: Be careful when you text.  Yes, this means you, Sweet Cheeks.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Craigslist.com

There are several great uses for Craigslist.com.  You can purchase baby furniture, find a job, or even connect with that special someone.  Craigslist has a section called "missed connections" where you can post in hopes of finding that special someone who caught your eye, but didn't have a chance to meet.  Check out this listing.  Very similar to the way the Atomic Wife and I met:


Friday, May 17, 2013

Feel the Pain

I've got an idea: Let's hook up electrodes to our abdomen to simulate the pain felt by women during labor.


Do you think it's really that painful?  I mean, how tough can a guy with holes in the bottom of his socks be?

That video reminded me of this Dairy Queen commercial:


Monday, May 13, 2013

In case you haven't heard...

If you've been living under a rock...


...or if you haven't read the past posts, we're having a boy.  I have the greeting card to prove it:



Do any of you remember this commercial??


And this commercial makes me want to buy a dirt bike... for the baby, of course.  Every boy needs a dirt bike... and flaming arrows.

I'm gonna be a good dad.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Good Advice

Good advice for anyone having a boy:

1. There are books available to teach your future son about manners:


2. Like I said before: Spelling is important:


3. I'm glad we're having a boy.  Now, I'll never have to buy maxi pads.



T-minus 163 days until our Atomic Baby comes rocketing out of the Atomic Va-JJ.  (The "T" in T-minus stands for "Test".  Now you've learned (4) things from this post.)

Friday, May 10, 2013

The Mall

The Atomic Wife and I took a trip to the local mall tonight.  Pregnancy + The Mall reminded me of this scene from the 1995 movie "Mallrats":



I decided to take a few pictures of our trip to the mall:
Yes, I parked here.  Very close to the front entrance.  Pole position.  No pun intended.


Found some shoes for the baby.
I also found this candle.  What do YOU think "Man Town" smells like?  If you guessed sweaty balls, you'd be right.

I also learned today that at 16 weeks, our baby is the size of an avocado.  If the baby is already that big, we're gonna need a bigger stroller.



NAMES

      We're still working on choosing a name.  Wanna find out what your name means?  Go to www.urbandictionary.com , type in your first name, and see what it comes up with.  You'll be amazed at how accurately your name describes you.

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Importance of Writing Well

People often tell me that I rite reel good.  I use good punkshuashun and spell reel nice.  I'm gunna teach our kid to rite reel swell, and hope that sumday he can rite as good as this kid:






Seriously, though.  I hope our kid is a good writer.  We'll have to teach him the importance of spelling, Oxford commas, and proper punctuation:



Did any of you get that Oxford comma joke?  Woka Woka.  By the way, we found out it's a "he."

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

How to hold a baby

One of the Atomic Dad Blog readers was nice enough to e-mail me a link to this video clip showing how to hold a baby.  In this video (titled "How to Hold a Newborn - Basic Holds"), Starbuck from "Battlestar Galactica" gives step-by-step directions on how to hold a newborn to a guy with two left arms.  Take a look:



Here's a pic of Starbuck from "Battlestar Galactica".  Compare her to the midwife in the video.

Let me ask you: Have you ever seen Starbuck and "Jessica" (the midwife from the video) in the same place at the same time?  Me neither.  Hypothesis confirmed.


What disturbed me most about the video wasn't the video itself, but rather the Internet link listed below the video that says "KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE FROM PREDATORS!"


Great.  First I have to worry about supporting the head.  THEN I have to worry about keeping the kid safe from PREDATORS: